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American politics have always been of serious interest for Canadians. Not only does the American President affect Canadian politics and procedures, but American elections are also just a heck of a lot more interesting to watch than our own. There’s something incredibly exciting about sitting around with your friends and watching the votes come in, as Wolf Blitzer and his associates furiously tap screens that zoom in and out on the states (CNN went very high-tech this year). Last night’s Barack Obama vs. Mitt Romney battle was no exception—and as always, in and amongst the surging patriotism and mountains of hope, there was absurdity. Here, we bring you some of the election’s biggest WTFs.

1.)  Mitt Romney, on election day, tells reporters he only wrote a victory speech. That worked out well.

2.)  Mitt Romney takes forever to concede, finally addressing the public early this morning. He was scrambling to write his defeat speech, okay?

3.)  Donald Trump calls for a revolution when Obama wins. Tweeting things like, “We can’t let this happen. We should march on Washington and stop this travesty. Our nation is totally divided!” and, “This election is a total sham and a travesty. We are not a democracy!” business mogul Trump made it pretty clear that he was upset with the night’s results. Some tweets were deleted, including the outrageous, “More votes equals a loss…revolution!” Trump’s strong dislike for Obama is no secret (remember when he insisted that the President wasn’t American?), but this is ridiculous. What exactly is Trump hoping to gain? Being upset with the election’s outcome is one thing; deciding that it’s proof of an unjust system (and thus cause for revolution) is entirely another. At least NBC’s Brian Williams commented on its preposterousness.

4.)  Karl Rove says calling Obama’s victory in Ohio is premature. Even as CNN, CBS, ABC, NBC, and even the Conservative Fox News said the state was Obama’s, Romney advisor Rove said, in an interview with Fox, that with 991 (20 percent) of the state’s votes still uncounted, it was too soon to know. This caused anchor Megyn Kelly to address the network’s number crunchers directly and find out if they, given Rove’s assessment, stood by their projection. They did. And, turns out, they were right. Woo!

5.)  Richard Noyes alleges that the liberal media was biased against Romney. The Media Research Centre’s Research Director Noyes wrote an editorial, published today by Fox News, which listed five reasons why this supposed bias was a major cause in Romney’s loss. Among them were accusations that the liberal media defended biased debate moderators (who were in favour of Obama), tried to hide the truth about America’s poor economy, and attacked “Republicans as liars for statements that were accurate.” If I’ve learned one thing in journalism school, it’s that no media establishment is completely without bias—it’s literally impossible to be 100 percent neutral, in any circumstance—and that goes for both political camps. Also, Noyes should give America more credit than that: it’s a smart country, and its people can tell when they’re being fed nonsense. Plus, the media is an overly used and very easy target when pointing the finger. Why is only the liberal media to blame?

6.)  Ann Coulter is…still Ann Coulter. A sore loser, the Conservative writer tweeted: “The good news is the promise of continued massive unemployment among young people.” Ugh.

7.)  People think Justin Bieber is American and urge him to vote. This caused the Canadian (HUZZAH!) pop prince to take to Twitter, saying, “im 18…but i cant vote…im Canadian.” Sorry to crush the hearts of 14-year-old girls everywhere else, but he’s ours.

8.)  Obama beats Justin Bieber for the most retweeted post on Twitter of all time. Shattering Bieber’s record of over 220,000, Obama’s “Four more years.” tweet (featuring a heartwarming photo of Mr. and Mrs. Obama in a sweet embrace) has been retweeted over 680,000 times. Confession: this is actually a total FTW. Obama FTW!

Michelle Williams as Wendy in Kelly Reichardt's 'Wendy and Lucy.' Courtesy Oscilloscope Laboratories.

In cinematic terms, the Great Depression is arguably best represented by Mervyn LeRoy’s 1932 classic I Am a Fugitive from a Chain Gang. Wrongfully convicted of robbery, First World War veteran James Allen is sentenced to 10 years on a chain gang. He eventually manages to flee and build a new life, only to be recaptured five years later. Asked how he survives as a fugitive, Allen whispers, “I steal.” While chain gangs have mostly been abolished, recent events have proven that no era is safe from the punishment of economic depression. Years of corporate greed and irresponsibility have led to a stock-market slump and a new crop of fiscal casualties that recall James Allen. But the character’s true 21st century successor is a young woman named Wendy.

Kelly Reichardt. Photo courtesy Oscilloscope Laboratories.

Kelly Reichardt’s film Wendy and Lucy (now available on DVD) stars Michelle Williams as a drifter who is driving cross-country on her way to Alaska to work in a cannery. As bad luck would have it, Wendy’s car breaks down in small-town Oregon and she is forced to hang around waiting for it to get fixed. Meanwhile, her only companion, a dog named Lucy, suddenly goes AWOL. Wendy spends her days calling the local kennel, sleeping in her car, showering in gas-station toilets, and watching her savings dwindle.

Normally a striking blond, Williams was de-glamorized for the role of Wendy. The actress drifts through each scene sporting short brown hair, scrubbed skin, and asexual clothing.

In opposition to Williams’ conspicuousness, Wendy is almost invisible—a decision, Reichardt says, that was inspired by the victims of Hurricane Katrina. Despite the levees breaking and scores of residents dying, New Orleans was incapable of getting the attention of the Bush administration after disaster hit in 2005. Reichardt and frequent collaborator Jon Raymond wrote Wendy and Lucy with New Orleans’ disenfranchised in mind.

“Jon and I were musing on the idea of having no net—how do you get out of your situation totally on your own without help from the government?” Reichardt told Bomb magazine last year. “There’s a certain kind of help that society will give and a certain help it won’t give.” In Wendy’s case, help arrives in one form only—a gregarious Walgreen’s security guard. The silver-haired drugstore warden scolds Wendy for sleeping in her car, but then lends her his phone to call the kennel about her missing dog. Later, he secretly hands his new friend some money before he departs.

“Your crop died, but my crop is enough to feed both of us. That was the American Dream,” Reichardt said recently in an interview with SpoutBlog. The filmmaker considers the lack of help now offered to people like Wendy an example of the American Dream “devolving.”

Like the train-hopping itinerants and nomadic workers of the 30s, Wendy is forced by an economic depression to live off society’s grid. In Wendy and Lucy, the fragility of such a life is underscored by Wendy’s gender and the fact that, besides her dog, she has no social net. According to Reichardt, even Lucy offers her only a “false sense of security.” The retriever is too small to protect Wendy from danger; in fact, the dog does her more harm than good. Without Lucy, Wendy would be free to pursue her own path, instead of spending her pennies on dog food and her time searching for the runaway. When Wendy is faced with the possibility of losing her companion, it is no doubt gut-wrenching, but it is also a relief. Like James Allen before her, Wendy has finally jimmied her way out of her shackles. We can only hope—for our sake as well as hers—that the future is less bleak than her predecessor’s.

Watch the trailer for Wendy and Lucy: